Tonight during our Book of Mormon class we were talking about Moroni and how very lonely he was after his people were annihilated by the Lamanites. He was alone, protecting the gold plates, hiding from his enemies for 36 years!
People in the audience raised their hands and were talking about loneliness and one little grey haired lady said, "After my husband died I was so terribly lonely. I wrote a letter to him about three times a week. I did this for about a year and you know..."she paused and then said with tears in her voice, "it really helped. It comforted me."
Another woman said, "We have all experienced grief, with perhaps a wayward child or other things. There have been times in my life when I wished I could just wear sackcloth and ashes and sit in the corner and grieve. Not have to get dressed, do my hair and make-up and pretend like everything was fine. I just wanted to grieve."
We all experience times when we feel like we cannot go on. I have said to Heavenly Father, "It's okay, you can take me now, right this minute," and I was ready to go, I really was. And yet here I am, still struggling on, as so many others, hoping for better days. Hoping to find joy, love and acceptance, and especially peace, and always loving my family and friends and hoping they will love me back.
So much of life is about love. Loving others, trying to learn to love ourselves like we are commanded to, loving God and the Savior. It really is the ultimate answer.
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Love really is the only anecdote for grief. As I drive around on errands, I always listen to Dr. Laura on the radio. Yesterday, a woman called expressing concern about her mother-in-law who has been experiencing severe bouts of grief for about 16 years ever since her husband died.
ReplyDeleteSince the bouts of depression are increasing in frequency and length, her mother-in-law's doctor started prescribing Zoloft to help the depression. At first it helped, but the caller said she didn't think the drug was working any more.
The caller then asked if it was her responsibility to contact her mother-in-law since her husband rarely if ever contacted his mother. In one sentence,Dr. Laura quickly said that it was not the caller's responsibility to contact her mother-in-law, but that it was the compassionate thing to do. Then Dr. Laura dwelled mostly on how the woman should get a life, take classes, learn something new, go on dates, take on projects, and then ended the call without chastising the caller or her husband.
I was screaming at the radio by then. The woman is depressed because her children never contact her! Why didn't Dr. Laura point that out? (Generally I always agree with her.) The answer was so obvious. The lady's bouts of depression generally last for about 4 months, and her son contacts her about every 4 months if that often. Can't these people see the correlation? The poor depressed woman just need to know that her children miss her and love her. They need to contact her often, tell her they miss her, take her places, introduce her to new activities and people. With their help, then maybe she can make a new life for herself.
Feeling alone and unloved, a depressed person can't pull themselves out of it, but her loved ones can help her do it.
I call you. It's just silly Dad answers the phone EVERY time. Hmph.
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